When you have been in a relationship for so long, your identity can feel like it has become intertwined with your partners. That is why if you suddenly become single, you may feel lost at first. During this challenging time, you will have to try and rediscover what makes you, you, and take the time to find yourself. If you have no idea where to start, some of the following ideas might help you:
Reconnect with friends
You may have spent time with your friends before the break-up, but now you will have more free time to spend with them. Your friends can be a great source of comfort to you when you are trying to navigate being single and working out how to rediscover yourself. They can help you with the hard things, and give you ideas for things that you can do to try and keep yourself busy.
Appreciate your friends, and don’t forget to have fun, even if you are still feeling sad.
Spend time on your own
When you become single, you need to make sure you spend some time on your own. It may be tempting to try and be out with people all the time, but you need to learn how to be in your own company. Get sleeping in your bed on your own over and done with, and take yourself out to places you wouldn’t usually go on your own. Go to the cinema, or relax in the park. The more time you spend on your own, the more you will rediscover yourself.
Find new hobbies or rediscover old ones
When you are single, you will find that you have a lot more time to do the things that you want to do. You can look back on the things that you used to do a few years ago, and try to get back into the things that you think you will still enjoy. Now would also be a great time to try some brand new hobbies that you have never had the chance to do.
Trying new things will help you to stay busy, but it will also help you to stop feeling lost.
Tackle the hard things
This is something that can be difficult to do, and it might take a lot of courage to face, but you need to tie up loose ends from your relationship if there are any. This could include splitting up bank accounts, finding divorce solicitors if you were married, and moving into a new house.
These could be tricky things to face, but the sooner you are done with them, the sooner you can start to let go and move on.
Be kind to yourself
Break-ups are hard, so be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to be sad, be frustrated that you feel lost, but know that it won’t last forever. One day you will wake up feeling content and sure of yourself, you just have to take each day as it comes until you get to that point.