Even though online dating has come into a completely new light over recent years, it can still seem daunting to many. Online dating covers both internet dating sites and dating apps, and you’ll probably find that most people have dipped their toe in either form at some point during their ‘singledom’.
But, just like all types of dating, it comes with the risk of heartbreak all the same. In fact, many feel that the possibility of rejection is even more brutal when using online dating sites and apps, as it’s far too easy for potential ‘dates’ to just write you off as a no without even speaking with you.
However scary it may sound to some, our lives are revolving around the internet more so than ever before, so it seems only natural to rely on internet dating for finding love. Here are some carefully curated top tips for making the most of your dating profile, spotting a great potential partner, and enjoying the world of online dating:
Start by knowing what you want
It sounds pretty obvious, but it is a good idea to first understand what it is you want to get out of online dating. Is it casual dating? Is it to find ‘the one’? Are you taking this dating lark seriously or are a bit more laid-back?
Work out what you want from an online dating service, and let that be your guide when preparing your own profile. The best tip before you begin is to be completely honest and transparent in your profile, to save both you and potential partners time and energy.
For example, a lot of people use online dating sites and apps to find a bit of company and casual dating, with some just wanting a bit of fun. However, you’ll find people don’t tend to put this out there on their profiles. There is no shame in stating this; it’s actually one of the most popular usages for online dating!
It’s completely acceptable to only be able to offer casual dating or a bit of fun if that is what you are currently seeking. Just be honest with yourself, and you’ll attract the right types of people you are hoping to meet.
Don’t be overly cliché
The mistake a lot of people make when putting their profile together is to think too much about the person reading it. This can lead to being a little too cliche when describing favourite pastimes and activities, like ‘snuggling up on the sofa with good company’ or ‘going for romantic walks on the beach”. These lines are overused, so if you can, leave them out! Think of something much more unique that is a conversation starter.
Maybe you’re busy starting a new business, or you’re training for a big sporting event. Put something which is much more personal and reflects your life. These types of pastimes will prompt a much more genuine conversation.
Share action shots in your photo section
We all try to share the very best photos of ourselves when it comes to online dating. After all, your photos are the window to who you are visually. But this means your photos often tend to be a row of carefully selected posed for photos and headshots.
It’s often researched that profile photos that demonstrate you doing an activity strike more interest, and bring your messages of intrigue your ways. Think of action shots of skiing, dancing, playing an instrument or even midway through drinking, eating or socialising.
It sounds silly but your dating profile is literally a dating CV which people will judge you from. No one will know anything about you, so it’s up to you to portray what you’re about from your profile.
As people tend to gravitate towards happy, positive people, it’s important to try and come across this way from your photos and descriptions. Any negative tones or feeling which come through can be quite off-putting, so always be positive about yourself where you can.
Obviously, don’t massively fake it if you’re going through a rough time and are feeling quite low. But try to leave out anything which resembles a negative mind frame, as it just tends to turn people off.
Choose the right dating site
In today’s world, we’re stuck for choice when it comes to online dating. There are so many different online dating services out there, and the reason there continues to be so is because they aren’t all the same, all attracting different audiences.
A lot of them reflect the fast-paced world we live in, and the flexibility we have now to meet someone for a drink just after a few messages have been swapped. These include the swipe-happy apps, the ones designed to let the woman speak first, ones where you pay a membership fee so you know everyone on there is serious about dating, and even ones which breakdown jigsaw pieces over someone’s photo the more you talk to them.
Most are designed for both parties to ‘match’ so you can start building conversation, But then there are others which allow anyone to message you, opening you up to a bigger world of singletons. Read reviews, ask friends for recommendations, and make your decision.
Your bio is crucial
What you write in your bio is the killer punchline to letting people know who you are and what you’re all about. Anything too confident and you risk giving off the impression you think too highly of yourself, and anything too negative can give the opposite feeling.
Spend a bit of time thinking about what makes you ‘you’, and what type of things you want people to know about. Think about the profiles you’re attracted to, the way they are written and what subjects they talk about.
Three paragraphs are more than enough – don’t give everything away. You want to intrigue people and invite people to ask further questions. If you’re naturally quite funny and are always being jokey, then be funny and let this show. If you’re quite straight talking and honest, let this shine through too.
Remember that everyone airbrushes
When we say ‘airbrushing’, we don’t technically mean perfecting a photograph (although lots of this does happen with online dating profiles!). What we mean is that most people online will airbrush themselves or their life in some way, because it’s just far too easy to do it.
While it’s fine to embellish some things, remember that when you eventually meet in person, it’s hard to keep up with anything that may have been a bend in the truth. So it’s best to just airbrush the light-hearted factors, and steer away from any big lies.
Last but not least: don’t get hooked
It’s far too easy these days to break up with someone on a Saturday night and be talking to a new potential love interest on a Sunday. The simplicity and accessibility of online dating make it easy to spend hours a day on dating apps, but it’s not a healthy thing to do.
Try to stick to using online dating sites and apps for around 20 minutes to half an hour per day. Don’t make it become a task or a job, which will only lead to negative thoughts. Like anything in life, if you use something too much, you run the risk of it becoming boring or making you feel in a negative way.